WONDROUS THING: Rub the ears of those you love (and do it today)

A few months ago, my cat Louie disappeared without a trace.

I realize that some cats occasionally wander off to sow their oats in far away fields. Some cats, perhaps, but not Louie. Having been fixed, she no longer had oats to sow. She was a total homebody that never stayed outside for long. 

No... something happened to her.

The first clue presented itself to me in the form of a nocturnal visit by two large coyotes a few nights after Louie's disappearance. They had wandered over onto my patio from the adjacent golf course, obviously looking for another tasty snack. The second was my learning that 15 other cats in the neighborhood had also recently vanished. I'll never know for certain what happened to Louie, but at this point, my best guess is that she became part of the food chain.

I realize, of course, that while this entire affair is quite sad, it is not tragic. After all, this is a cat we're talking about, not a person. Nonetheless, the sudden loss of a living creature that I loved has been a jarring reminder to me that life - each day of life - is incredibly precious. One never knows how many days will be given to us. The day before she disappeared, I gave Louie her generous allotment of rubs behind the ears that she loved so much. Neither of us knew at that time that it would be the last time.

But every day is like this, is it not? We don’t think about it as such, because who wants to walk around every day thinking that life can be snatched away in the blink of an eye? For our own sanity we push to the sidelines of our consciousness the reality that each day could, in fact, be our final day on earth.

But, I dare say, we shouldn’t push it too far away. A little awareness of our mortality is a good thing. It reminds us to appreciate each day. To not procrastinate. To not put off for another time that which we can – and should - do in the moment.

Psalm 118:24 states, “Zeh Hayom Asah Adonai, Nagila v’Nismecha Vo - This is the day that God has made; be happy and rejoice in it.”

So use each day wisely, for when tomorrow comes, today will be gone forever. There are ears to be rubbed, so to speak, and today – not tomorrow – is the time to do it.

(COYOTE UPDATE: A trapper was hired by the local neighbors and – so far – four coyotes have been caught and safely released to a nearby nature preserve adjacent to the Everglades.)

WONDROUS IDEA: Heed your Guiding Principle (Quick, what is it?)

The famous rabbi, Hillel, was once asked what he considered to be the Torah’s guiding principle. His response was brief but eternally memorable: “What is hateful to you, do not do to someone else.”

This was Hillel’s guiding principle, his “Clal Gadol.”  There are many others.

A few years ago, a rabbi once collected a random sampling from friends on what their guiding principle might be. Here are some of the responses:

“A little modesty goes a long way.”

“Never hide your intelligence.”

“Failure is good for you.”

“Never settle for less than you deserve.”

“Know when to ask for help.”

“A true friend helps bury the body.”

“Don’t be an idiot.”

“Don’t argue with a fool.”

“The food you eat affects your skin.”

“Hard work is everything.”

“Admit your mistakes.”

“Real wealth isn’t found in the bank.”

“It’s just as easy to love a rich man, as it is a poor man.”

Words to live by... (at least for some!)

For me, my “Clal Gadol” would have to be the phrase my mother hammered into my head from the time I was a child: “Zei a Mensch – be a Mensch!” Rabbi Aaron Wise z”l told this on the Bimah to my often out-of-control cousin on the occasion of his Bar Mitzvah. (A lot of good it did.)

However, my mother, sitting in the congregation shepping nachas for her crazy nephew - did internalize the rabbi’s words and forever pressed her children to always behave accordingly.

Of course, a person can have more than one guiding principle. My late mentor, Kenneth Renn z”l, had four. They took the form of four questions, and he found great meaning and guidance by trying to live his life accordingly. I share them with you here:

“What can be given that wasn’t?”

“What can be shared that would comfort?”

“What can be done that would repair?”

“What can be said that would open our hearts and bring us together?”

It’s a little longer than “Zei a Mensch” but it works.

And you? What is your guiding principle, your “Clal Gadol”? To what extent does it guide your daily actions? Whatever it is, I would love for you to share it with me.

Passover is a time of new beginnings. It's about navigating our lives to a new and better place. What better time to polish off our "Clal Gadol" and put it to good use!

Wishing you and yours a Happy Pesach, or as we say in Hebrew, Chag Kasher v'Sameach.

WONDROUS IDEA: Nurture the things you love (and do it now!)

One of the customs I have when I come to study at the Hartman Institute in Jerusalem is to buy a mint plant at the local nursery and put it out on my balcony. 

I water it, it grows, and I occasionally have a sprig of fresh mint to put into a cup of tea.

When my father passed away two year ago, I had to leave Israel in a hurry to get back to California for the funeral. I changed my plane reservation, packed up my stuff, and said goodbye to my friends at Hartman. Just before leaving for the airport I realized I was about to abandon my little mint plant. Who would water it once I left? 

I quickly brought it to one of the many gardens at the Hartman Institute and planted it next to a drip irrigation hose where I hoped it would get a little water and manage to stay alive.

The following summer when I returned again to Hartman, I found that my little mint plant had miraculously survived. It was about half the size, but there it was!

Another year has now come and gone since then and again I am back at Hartman. (FYI, this is my final 10-day session.) Time to check on my mint plant! This time it took a little bit of searching, but I eventually found it. It was very small.

Looking at my now tiny mint plant reminded me of what happens to the things that we love that we fail to nurture. They shrink. Of course, I’m not around to water and fertilize my little plant. She’s on her own here in Jerusalem. But what about those things in our lives that we have the power to nurture, yet neglect?

Friendships. Family. Finding time to do the things we love. Learning new things. Cultivating our interests. Do we give then the care and attention they need to both survive and thrive?

There is a saying in the Talmud - don't ask me where exactly - that states “if you abandon me for one day, I will abandon you for two.”  While it is speaking about the Torah, I think it is also comes to remind us that there is a cost we pay if and when we neglect the things that are truly important in our lives. 

So don't.

WONDROUS THING: All the world is a very narrow bridge (so don't be a jackass)

There is a new piece of exercise equipment at my gym. It's a step climber with a big screen that allows me to go on a virtual hike through some of our nation’s beautiful National Parks at the same time that I am working out.  I step and step and step, while on my screen I see a hiker’s view of the trail ahead. 

So far I’ve "hiked" trails in the Grand Canyon, Joshua Tree, Death Valley, and Zion National Park.

However, it was the hike up to Angels Landing in Zion that caught my particular attention. It ran along a very narrow ridge with ridiculously steep drops on either side. Even from the safety of the gym the view was dizzying and a bit frightening. Check it out for yourself by clicking here. 

At first, I was going to quote Rabbi Nachman’s famous statement "All the world is a very narrow bridge and the main thing is to not be afraid."  I considered waxing poetically on how our lives are surrounded by metaphorical drops and chasms on all sides and yet still we must always push fearlessly onwards.

Then I read that over the past 15 years, eight hikers have tragically fallen to their deaths while hiking Angels Landing. That's a lot. So, instead, allow me to wax poetically on this: "All the world is a very narrow bridge and the main thing is to not be stupid."

Life can be perilous enough without our bad choices making things worse. 

So hike up to Angels Landing if you have an excellent sense of balance and don't mind walking on a 2 foot wide ledge with a 1,200 foot high cliff next to you. 

Text all you want, but for God’s sake – and for the sake of everyone else – don’t do it while driving. 

Eat junky, unhealthy foods, but do so in moderation lest your heart’s content eventually turns to discontent.

But may we always, ALWAYS, listen for that little voice of reason inside of us that whispers words of caution and conscience – sometimes far too softly – before we decide to do something tremendously and stupendously dumb. 

Happy trails!

Rabbi Michael

WONDROUS THING: Be Nice (yup, I'm speaking to you)

Once upon a time, a very nice hotel in Palm Beach did something very nice for me – and for the other clergy on the island – they gave us all a complimentary membership to the hotel’s beach club and brand new fitness center. (I’ll admit it is a nice perk. :-)

Being a creature of habit, I typically work out late in the afternoon. Upon finishing my workout, I empty a packet of recovery drink into a plastic bottle and fill it up with ice water. Since the beach bar is usually closed by this time and the large reservoir of ice water on the counter put away, I'm forced to either add warm water to the bottle (yuck!) or ask one of the bar attendants cleaning up to put some ice and water in my bottle. Warm water is out of the question so I always ask, and they always say yes.

The other day, however, this routine was broken.  After asking one of the women behind the bar if she could fill up my bottle, she said to the other attendant working with her “He is the only one I don’t mind doing this for.” The other woman then replied, “I agree.”

I didn’t understand, so I asked them to clarify. “You are the only person who asks us nicely,” she said. “Everyone else tells us to give them water; you ask us."  It seemed impossible to me but they swore it was true.

I’m not sharing this to toot my own horn. (Trust me, I have my grumpy moments.)  Yet, it was distressing to hear that common courtesy is - seemingly - in such short supply.

Everyday kindness might seem like a trifle, but it is not. There is a famous saying in the Mishnah that states: “Al shlosha d’varim ha’olam omed: al ha-Torah, v’al ha-avodah, v’al g’milut chassadim - The world depends on three things: Torah, Prayer, and Acts of Kindness." (Pirkei Avot 3:21).

Note that the rabbis place Acts of Kindness equal to the Torah. 

And so should we.

Most of the moments of holiness in our lives happen on the street, not in the synagogue.  Being kind and courteous are sacred acts; little moments of prayerful action that we bring to the world everyday by means of our countless interactions with others.

When you think about it, it is really quite elegant and beautiful.
I suppose all we have to do now is live our lives accordingly.

B'Shalom,

Rabbi Michael Resnick

WONDROUS THING: Find the Light (and don't stop till you do)

A woman I know was recently diagnosed with cancer. 

As you could imagine, it hit her hard. She was young and healthy. She was married, had a happy home and a beautiful daughter soon to become Bat Mitzvah.  Becoming ill was the last thing she expected.

Her cancer required months of treatment. Fear and radiation were constant companions.  With some of her lymph nodes removed, daily swelling and discomfort are now her new normal.

Yet, she surprised me when she said that despite all of the uncertainty surrounding her illness, she is happier now than at any other time in her life.

She always knew that she was married to a good man, but her husband’s love and endless devotion during her darkest moments has lifted their relationship to an entirely new level.

She now has a more profound appreciation for the true friends in her life as a result of the kindness and caring certain people shared with her and her family during her illness. 

But most of all, her bout with cancer has blessed her with the ability to distinguish which things are truly important in her life from those that are not.  The quality of each one of her days has been enriched immeasurably as a result.

Now we understand what the Mishnah (Berachot 9:5) means when it states “A person is required to bless God for the bad, just as one blesses God for the good...”

Who would have expected that out of such adversity could come such joy?  

Of course, it would be great to avoid misfortune in the first place, but if it should strike, may we always find a way to rise above the darkness so as to discover a little bit of light.  

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What challenges have you faced that facilitated a more keen appreciation of a blessing in your life? 

WONDROUS THING: Easy Does It (Usually)

Here is something I bet most of us have never experienced… staying in an ice hotel. (That's ICE.)

Click on this link for a peek at some of the most famous ice hotels in the world. My favorite of the bunch is the Arctic Resort Kakslauttanen in Finland. What makes it special is that you can stay in an igloo – a warm one with a glass roof – and watch the Northern Lights from your bed!

Unfortunately, there is an increasing possibility that ice hotels might become a thing of the past. According to the U.S. National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration and NASA - 2015 was the Earth's warmest.

It’s not an anomaly. Since record-keeping began 136 years ago, 15 of the top 16 warmest years have occurred since 2000. And all evidence suggests that the trend will continue unless we drastically reduce our greenhouse emissions.

The problem of climate change is global in scale and neither you nor I are going to completely solve the problem on our own. But that said, we can and should and must do something – even a little something.

The Talmud (Rosh Hashanah 4b) reminds us that “little somethings” are often the way big things get done. Tafasta meruba, lo tafasta – try to grab too much and you grab nothing at all. Tafasta meu'ta, tafasta – grab a little and you will succeed.

So do something little for the sake of the planet: make sure your next car is a car that doesn’t guzzle quite so much gas; change a few bulbs in your home to energy-efficient LED’s; and turn your AC up one degree this summer.

Easy little things.

Do if for winter. Do it for all the people – near and far – that live close to sea level. And if these aren't reason enough, do it for the sake of your grandchildren.

In a warming world, they will look at you like you are cool indeed.