WONDROUS THING: Collect experiences, not stuff (it pays better dividends, especially at the end)

I recently read about a 107 year old man that has been retired for 41 years and is still paying his own bills!

According to the article, he managed this even though he never made more than $10,000 in a single year. He owned only two cars in his entire life, and only bought what he really needed. (His wife wasn't crazy about this, but she went along. They were married for 75 years.)

I’m not sure I intend to be as frugal as the gentleman in the story, but it did get me thinking about how we spend our money… and our time.

In his book The Sabbath, Abraham Joshua Heschel suggests that we are - to paraphrase - lost in space. In his words, we are “infatuated… with the grandeur of things of space.” iPhones, cars, houses, objects d'art and the like.  



In contrast, he says, “Judaism is a religion of time aiming at the sanctification of time.” In his view, moments spent in time matter more than “stuff.”

How many of the things we buy do we really need?  And do the many things we buy really bring us lasting satisfaction and happiness?

According to many psychological studies - and Judaism - it is experiences and moments that ultimately bring us the most happiness, not material possessions.

What do you think… experiences or things... which brings you more joy?  And which of the two are you spending more of your resources on?

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WONDROUS THING: Be grateful (and I mean right now!)

 
According to a recent story on NPR, research shows that being grateful can literally be good for your heart.

We all know that appreciating our blessings is good for us. It helps us put life’s challenges into perspective. As it turns out, it might very well do much more.

Paul Mills, a researcher at the University of California San Diego School of Medicine, discovered that the more gratitude people expressed, the healthier they were! Mills had patients with heart disease keep a journal listing two things they were grateful for each day.  A significant percentage of these patents subsequently had a reduction of inflammation and abnormal heart rhythms when compared to those patients that didn’t keep a gratitude journal.

In Hebrew gratitude is called Hakarat HaTov - Recognition of the Good.  I suppose this is why the Talmud states "Mitzvah gedola l’hiyot b’simcha tamid – It is a great Mitzvah to always be happy and appreciative."

 


So, what are the things – both big and small – that you are most grateful for? And how do you nurture your sense of gratitude every day?
 

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WONDROUS THING: Engage (don't separate)

I grew up in Los Angeles. Whenever I would fly, I would invariably see some famous actor or actress at the airport.  Well, that’s about to end. LAX (Los Angeles International Airport) is building a special terminal exclusively for celebrities - and anyone else willing to pay an extra $1,500-$1,800 per person, per trip! Benefits will include exclusive lounges, separate security - and most of all - a convenient way to avoid coming in contact with the huddled masses. You can read the whole story here. Reading this article made me think about a classic passage in the Babylonian Talmud (Sanhedrin 98a): “Rabbi Yehoshua ben Levi once asked the Prophet Elijah ‘When will the Messiah come?’  ‘Ask him yourself,’ replied the Elijah. ‘The Messiah is at the gates of Rome, sitting among the poor, the sick and wretched binding up their wounds.’” I can certainly understand a celebrity’s need for privacy, but I think it is interesting that there is no “private gate” for the Messiah. The Talmud tells us that his place is in the middle of the world - messy as it is - because that is where he can do the most good. And us?  Which way do we lean in life when it comes to the tzures we see all around us – avoid or engage? And how do we find the right balance? # P.S.: Want to receive these posts in your inbox? Email me here to sign up!

WONDROUS THING: Believe in something fully (and act accordingly)

Black Friday is regarded as the official beginning of the Holiday Shopping Season.  This year, 74.2 million people went shopping on Black Friday and spent a total of $10.4 billion!



Because Black Friday is SO big and SO important to the bottom line of many businesses, lots of retailers have started offering their discounts on Thanksgiving Day in order to better cash in on the action. What started out as a big shopping DAY on Black Friday has now morphed into a HUGE extended shopping weekend.



Some retailers are starting to push back.



Costco, Nordstrom, Staples – along with many others – refuse to open their doors on Thanksgiving Day.  Analysts expect other stores to follow as retailers attempt to stop “Black Friday creep” in which stores open earlier and earlier. (Read about it in Money by clicking here.)



What do you think? 
    •    Should a day be kept sacred even if it means losing money?
    •    To what extend do economic considerations become the criteria by which we base our decisions? 
    •    Are we inclined to "do the right thing" if it is going to cost us financially?

Here's the classic story in the Jerusalem Talmud, Baba Metzia 2:5 that addresses this issue head-on:


"Shimon ben Shetach once purchased a donkey. The original owner had neglected to check the saddlebag before he made the sale, and inadvertently left diamonds in the bag.

When they discovered the treasure, Shimon ben Shetach’s students were exuberant. They were certain, their teacher would be able to teach Torah without the constant financial worries that had been plaguing him.

Shimon ben Shetach did not join in their excitement though. “Do you think I am a barbarian?” he exclaimed “I bought a donkey, not diamonds!” 

He promptly returned the diamonds. When the owner received them he cried out, “Blessed is the God of Shimon ben Shetach.”
 

Don't you love being Jewish?!  


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WONDROUS THING: Seek out wonder (and notice it when you find it)

The first time I saw Star Wars was at the iconic Chinese Theater in Hollywood. 

(Sorry, this was not the "first time" you were expecting. A cheap trick on my part, to be sure. :-)

I will never forget watching the very beginning of the film on the theater’s huge screen… the camera panning down to dramatically reveal the desert planet of Tatooine; and then – most amazing of all – the Empire’s huge Star Destroyer entering from the top of the screen with its lasers firing and the ship's enormous blue engines roaring into view so loudly that the entire theater shook. (Click here to watch the opening scene of Star Wars, particularly the first 2 1/2 minutes. It's still great to watch, even on an iPhone!)

It’s been almost 40 years since that day and I still remember the gasps from the audience at that moment. None of us had ever seen anything like it, and it was absolutely thrilling.

It made me think how rarely these days I feel that sense of radical amazement the way I did that night. What's the deal? Is life itself less exciting, less filled with wonder now as compared to then, or - more likely - has something changed in me? Have I allowed routine to fill up much of my days? Am I seeking out great and novel experiences with the same energy that I used to?

Rabbi Menachem Mendel of Kotzk was once asked by his students "Where does God exist?"  He answered, “God exists wherever we create a place for God to exist in our lives.”

Might not the same apply to wonder and amazement? Are wondrous things not ever-present in our lives in countless ways? A crescent moon in beautiful night sky. The scent of a flower. The sounds of the sea. A beating heart. A baby's smile. A loving embrace. Our challenge is to recognize and appreciate the myriad wonders that are all around us.

Fortunately, we don't have to wait for George Lucas – or anyone else – to do this for us. We can... and should... and must... do this for ourselves every day.

What are some of the things – both big and small – that create a sense of joy and amazement in your life?

May the Force be with you.

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WONDROUS THING: Have a spine (particularly when you will get hammered for having one)

Russia’s lower house of Parliament – the Duma – is not famous for standing up to Vladimir Putin.  So it should be no surprise after Russia invaded and annexed the Crimea back in 2014 that the final vote approving the annexation was 445 to 1.

Yet, when the vote tally appeared on large screens in the chamber, a tumult arose.  Who dared to be the one dissenting vote?

It turned out to be Ilya Ponomarev, a two-term member of the Duma from Siberia.
 
Ponomarev was instantly condemned on social media in Russia as a “national traitor.” Some suggested that he be crucified. The Russian authorities didn’t do that, but they did – while he was visiting the US – freeze his bank accounts and announce that they would not allow him to return home. He now lives in exile in San Jose, California.  (To read his story in his own words, click here.) 

His story has me thinking about moral courage, about being a lone voice of conscience in a society where everyone thinks the opposite as you.

In any area of your life – personal, communal, or societal – would you be willing to be such a voice? Would you be willing to buck your family or community – and pay such a large price – to stand up for what you passionately believe in?  Would I?
   
Abraham Joshua Heschel once wrote: “To a person endowed with prophetic sight, everyone else appears blind; to a person whose ear perceives God’s voice, everyone else appears deaf. ”

Mighty words awaiting persons of mighty moral courage - with the right stuff - to live up to them.


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P.P.S.: If you're interested, there is a great video about Moral Courage featuring Dr. Yehuda Kurtzer from the Hartman Institute in Jerusalem. Click here to watch.
 

WONDROUS THING: Remember the nonsense happens (but usually not all the time)

13-year-old Mallory Kievman has a cure for the hiccups. She says she discovered it in the kitchen trying to stop her own. Her cure is a lollipop made from apple cider vinegar and sugar. It reportedly works by triggering the nerves in your throat and mouth that are responsible for the hiccup reflex.

But about when life brings you a different kind of hiccup?


Cancer. A betrayal. Job loss. A death. You know… nasty stuff that breaks the comfortable rhythm of your life. What then? There’s no special lollipop remedy for these hiccups.

So what does help? 

Judaism offers one suggestion: “Gam ze ya’avor – this too shall pass." 

Just as night gives way to day and winter gives way to spring, we’re reminded that nothing lasts forever. Not pain. Not heartache. Not sadness.
 
Here's a nice story about the fleeting nature of things. It reminds us that life has its "downs" but also invariably has its "ups":

"King Solomon instructed one of his ministers to find a ring that could turn a happy person sad, and a sad person happy. King Solomon thought it was a ruse that would confound his best minister.

However, the minister was inspired. When he came to a goldsmith and inquired of this ring, he was told that he had come to the right place. The goldsmith inscribed on the ring three Hebrew letters: gimmel, zayin, yud. These letters stood for the words, “Gam zeh ya’avor,” This too shall pass.
 
The minister returned to King Solomon, and presented him with the ring. Smiling at the thought of winning the challenge, King Solomon took one look at the ring and lost his smile.
 
Thus, he learned that even his wisdom and great wealth were but fleeting things and that nothing lasts forever."
 
What do you think? Can remaining mindful that life is filled with change and impermanence help bring comfort? If not, what does? 

How do you find the strength to get through life’s hiccups? 

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